双人床?单人床

今天，我到了家私店去逛逛。想买一张适合自己的床。
因为之前的床已经离我而去了，虽然那张床的舒适感和味道仍在我的脑海里温存着......
但是是时候清醒的时候，就不应该再模模糊糊地伪装自己是个女孩了。
还记得以前小甜甜布莱妮（Britney Spears) 的一首歌= I'm not a girl, Not yet a woman吗？

'I'm not a girl, not yet a woman
All I need is time, a moment that is mine
While I'm in between
I'm not a girl
There is no need to protect me
It's time that I Learn to face up to this on my own
I've seen so much more than you know now
So don't tell me to shut my eyes"

这首歌正是说到我现在的心情。
一种还有点未完全褪掉的青涩的成熟。

当我走进傢俬店,服务人员就笑盈盈走过来.

"小姐,需要什么呢?"
"我之前的双人床出走了,需要新的..."
"那是件很悲伤的事,但是在这里你可以得到更多更好的双人床哦~!"
"我不想再购买那会让我伤心的双人床了. 虽然在购买回家的时候的心情是很兴奋和开心, 每天就想着让你感到舒适的双人床. 虽然需要时间来适应它的一切好和坏,但是过程是会幸福甜蜜的. 但....我不想再次体会当它要走时的心情了. 那是一种用双手怎么去拦着,挡着甚至丢下尊严一味地抱着,它还是无情地要离你而去的. 被遗留下来的我,惟有独自去感受那伤痛."
"所以你要的是?"
"我想要的是那不会背叛我的单人床."
"可是,我们这里有一个不会背叛你的双人床,它等了你4年的. 你也很了解它会给你的好感觉."
"我还是坚持,因为我知道睡在单人床上虽然是一个人.偶尔晚上冷时,虽然它给不到你那双人床的温暖. 但是那感觉却踏实很多. 或许,我爱上了孤单."
"那以后你都不会再购买双人床了?"
"会,我仍然喜欢双人床给到的甜蜜. 但我的荷包只能容纳单人床. 或许需要一个好好的休息吧~!"

我抱着新买的单人床走出了傢俬店.
外面的阳光依然很漂亮, 蓝天依然是那么地蓝.
耳边的风仿佛在鼓励我...
我的生活不只是只有床.

18岁了,从球鞋变成高跟鞋时, 发现到,有些人...忘不了是因为放不下. 长大了，是少了一些纯真，卻不一定会消失至无。剩下的纯真，成份也许更纯。 人沒有了纯真，也就很难去愛人了。爱情这东西，只有纯真的人才会依然相信。 不管我们经历过什么，不管我们受过多少伤害，跌倒多少次，不管我们对人性有多少失望，当我們站在所爱的人面前，彼此仍然可以保有心中的纯真，至少有这么一個人，能让我永远相信纯真的美好，那就是爱情的甜蜜。 要世故，也要纯真。要清醒，也要遺忘。我是这么相信的。 与其学会遗忘,我学会怀念.

明天就是了~!

明天就是杏奈的最后面试了~
这一个星期,杏奈和DEAR都一直在一起....

看电影, 他陪我放学搭火车回家,我等他放学去吃饭...
一起走路去搭巴士. 他整头都流汗了~但是还是会笑着看杏奈(甜甜)
最近发现杏奈和他在一起久后会变得比他"废".
而DEAR常常被杏奈"炸"到伤痕累累~(笑)

譬如说:

在过马路时,
DEAR:"小心,抓紧我的手,这路很难过的..."
杏奈:"那等下我们要一边拿纸巾搽眼泪,一边过马路咯?"
DEAR:"为什么?(一脸疑惑)"
杏奈:"你说"很难过"啊...不是吗?"
DEAR:无言.....

第二次过马路,
DEAR:"这马路很难过哦~!"
杏奈:"那我们~~~~"
DEAR:"要一边拿纸巾搽眼泪,一边过马路咯!是吗?"
杏奈:"不是,是要拿纸巾给马路."
DEAR:"WHY?"
杏奈:"这次是马路很难过嘛~!"
DEAR: 被炸到翻白眼

杏奈:"DEAR... 如果我面试成功了,你会怎么样?"
DEAR:"我会替你开心咯~!'
杏奈:"噢~你会"踢"我,然后你很开心咯?!"
DEAR晕~

+++++++++++++++++++++还有很多+++++++++++++++++++++++

说真的,如果杏奈成功了.会很开心.... 不过~很舍不得他.我担心他会很孤独...所以乘现在杏奈都为我们建立一些回忆好让他能存在心中. 他说会为我在心中留下一席的位子.

他常常让杏奈很感动,他曾经很认真地告诉了杏奈好多话

• 要了你也就要了你全部。
• 不管你到了那里，我的心上的空位只有你能来添满。
• 不管你到了那里，闻到你回散不去的味道，看到你的照片,也就感觉你就站在我右边。
• 我不管你以前是怎么样的,我只在乎你的以后.
• 我的素描画上原本只是用铅笔stroke 而已。当你出现后，你就成了我的胶泥檫（patty rubber）

我知道他会对我很好, 可是当每次他对我很好的时候.... 杏奈就觉得自己对他不够好. 看着他的笑,我能继续让他这样开心地过每一天吗? 为什么我不能给他好像平常情侣的甜蜜? 为什么他等了那么久还是得带着微笑毫无怨言地等? 我给不到完整的爱情他.... 我也好希望给他如平常情侣的恋情,我不想看到他那么辛苦. 要如何呢?

DEAR....未来的日子我不知道能不能给你快乐,不过请你要相信,我会一直努力的.

他对杏奈就有如这首歌.

The LAST FINAL!

Yesterday was my final interview at LCCT(Terminal LCC, near KLIA)
start from 4pm.
Early in the morning, my mind jz keep thinking abt those interview question tat Ms Mulai teach b4.
Keep on studying abt AirAsia history.(first time i working so hard on HISTORY)

1 Person i hav to feel very thankful to him.
Is my 24孝 daddy.
He purposely take half-day off to fetch me go LCCT for the interview.
Sumor he is sitting at The coffeebean cafe thr to wait me for 2 hours(maybe more) and doing nothing!
So Damn TOUCHING~!
(Tears Coming out.....)

Alright, out of topic for HOURS d...

COme back.

When i arrive the LCCT, tat's no information counter reception sitting thr.
So i asked the security guard,

"Excuse me, Do u noe whr is the AirAsia office?"

"O, AirAsia office? u go straight then take the lift to 1st floor. U can c the AirAsia office d."

"ok... Thx very much"
(c how a pretty great manner tat i had....~(-o-)~)

Follow wat the security guard pointing at... keep on walking to find 1 lift.
bt then~
WHERE'S THE LIFT~!?
i walked through the whole LCCT d, none 1 signboard i can c tat show lift.
Ask again another security guard,
MAnA tahu, is inside 1 room.
so secret wan~
Looking at my ODM watch(showing off), is 4.o5pm.
GOSH~!

After registration and filled up the application form,
go in to the hall tat some1 ask me to go in.
WALAO A~
more than 100 ppl sit at thr lar~
those gals keep on taking their foundation powder o lips gloss to put on their face o check up their makeup.
Finally i found my gang, Shean Mei, Cindy n Jessie.
Shean Mei asked me,

"Stephanie, do u put makeup on ur face?"
"yaya.... Y ask so?"
"O.... no wonder ur eyes look so charming, bt ur blush n foundation put very 薄."
"Wat~?! really cant even feel tat im put A LOT of Foundation d ar?"
" yaya."

WAHSEH~man... i put maybe got 1 cm thick d lor. First time the powder so thick ar....! bt then after i viewed all gals' makeup, wat should i said is: Is tat they r putting beige simen on their face? Most of them really quite tat horrible d... Fake lashes, thick powder!

Stephanie hav to say at here is:

"女生们啊，化妆是用来让你的容貌完美。遮盖瑕疵缺点，展现你的优点特色。而不是把你变成另外一个人和面具啊～！＂

I jz luv Jessie and Shean Mei's grooming. Feeling quite comfortable when looking at them. Tat's wat makeup should do on ur image!

i get the number of 32, Jessie was 30, Shean Mei was 20, and Cindy is 16.

When my turn to go in the interview room, tat 1 interviewers for today.

First, they asked me to follow the arrow on floor to walk catwalk(air crew walk, not modeling).
Second, they asked me to show my hand to check whether i had any visible scars o tattoo.
bt, my hand got some red dots cz of food allergy.
The interviewer asked:" wat's the red dot on ur hand?"
"food allergy, Madam"
"ok...(she look at me wit a serious face)"
Finally, to read the announcement.

When i walked out, Jessie was waiting for me. i told her wat was happened inside jz now.
After i said abt the food allergy problem, she get shocked and ask
"Why u dowan to tell them is mosquito bite? if u said allergy tat's no good for ur image ar~!"
"Ya lor(now only i realise tat)....shit~!"
"Ms Mulai asked us to tell this kind of answer if asked"
"I dunno.... is ok, jz get this time as my experience lar~!"
(wit a sad look)


While all girls were chit chatting in the waiting room.
The interviewer taking a lot of form and come in, all girls stand up and waiting wit a nervous face.
WAt am i thinking at tat time is,
"can i go to toilet? i really tahan for hours d ler....(LAUGH)"
The interviewer said,

"those numbers pls come out."
"45,44,43,42,41........33,31,29,28.......16....1"

wat? no 32 and 30?

jz jump off....!

While those gals wit numbers called going out, me and Jessie look to each other wit a blue face.
full of disappointed feels....

"V cant enter the next round, JEssie"
"ya...im so sad."
"Is ok ,take it as the experiences, Jessie. Mayble said there's 1 more interview after Deepavali ma~ cheer up"

(at tat time, i had no mood to go toilet anymore. SO SAD~! And thinking tat Y the no.45 gals is weight 63kg can in, bt i can't.?!)

Then looked at those gals been called out, the interviewer told them

"U all can go back d, U all din pass today's interview."

WAT? they din pass...?!
Which means......
WE ALL IN THE ROOM TAT DIN BEEN CALLED WAN PASS!
at tat time, those gals inside the waiting room all screaming...hugging each other...congraz to others....!
someone even cry out~!
Me and Jessie hold each other's hand tightly and smile to congraz each other.
when looking backwards, Shean Mei at there.
Which means...
She oso pass wit us~bt feel so sry to Cindy.
HURRAY~!

When walking out to look for daddy,
1 AirAsia air stewardess talked to me(Jz now, she's the 1 of air stewardess inside the interview room)
She asked me,

"When will u come back again for the 2nd Flight Crew interview?"
"1st of Nov( i was thinking tat how she noe i was pass?)"
"Hope to c u soon."
"thx~"

When meet daddy,
I told him the news and oso sms my dear...
HE feel more happier than me,
then keep on telling ppl on phone tat i was passed.
WAhaha....

While in the Journey of going back to PJ,
guess wat i saw?

I saw RAINBOW~!

wat's a lovely days!











*My next interview will be on

1/11/08
at AirAsia Training Academy, Sepang.
8am.

Wish tat i can pass it too....( bt really starting to lack of confidence d...)
GAMBATEH to myself~!

WAT~!? IM PASS?!

Yesterday was my Air Asia first round interview.
Cant imagin tat only 3 days i study then can interview d~
As Mayble n Ms Mulai told,
i hav to wear short-sleeves shirt, knee skirt n black high-heel.
Well...
im the new student for Centuria Training and educational Center.
the latest student for 14th batch

While waiting for going to the class to fill up the Sass Altantic Application Form,
guess wat?

i meet somebody~!

I meet SabrinaT n one of my primary skl classmate- Xin Min.
bt then they r not Centuria student( today is open to public interview)
really a big surprise when meet them.

Sabrina really a pretty.

Ok, after a few minutes of waiting.

Many of the khabar angin come out...

some of them said the interviewer come from Singapore,
sumor no self_introduction.
Bt keep asking the General Knowledge.
(luckily i read news paper everyday, except for yesterday...SWT)

While waiting the calling of interview student.
Ms Mulai(my class teacher) ask me to go for the interview d.
Wat the~!

"im not ready yet lar~ Ms Mulai~!"
ME wit a get shock horrible face
"Stephanie, jz act as yesterday night class, i hav highly hope on u! U r good."

Teacher....
i will be more nervous wit those senior will full experiences....
Do the best tat i can lar~


Going to the office at Block A4, everyone was waiting.
I saw Rebecca, Nicole(the birthday gal of tat day), Nana and Jessie.
They jz finished their interview, waiting for the result only.
Nana said, there's no self-introduction for today.
Bt the interviewer asking as the Khabar angin said,

abt general knowledge and all stuff of politic, economic even financial...
Hur? i noe nothing abt all kind of those question~

MAMA MIA~!
then, Mayble taking the shortlist of who was pass for jz now interview.
TAt jz Nicole n Jessie.
Means tat Rebecca n Nana, 2 experience students n potential was failed?!
then i sure die lar...

Then JOe(1 of the smart guy from Centuria students) calling me after his interview.
"Phang Yan Xing, is ur turn."

HURRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!
kk...

DEEP BREATH~!
HMMM~
HUUU......

Then interviewer is a guy wit a smiling face.

"Good Afternoon, Sir"(keeping my BEST smile)
"ok, sit down"
"ok... Phang Yan Xing. Pls read tis article abt cotton for me."
"Ok.... BLa...BLA...BLA...wait... GArment? is how to pronous? GAR- MEnt? o GAR- MET? CIncai lar....BLA bla..... Finish, Sir"
"Alright, Phang Yan Xing. Here's ur question. Safety and Service, which 1 is more important. Why?"
"I think Safety is the most important for everyone, sir. Safety is the basic of airline. Life is very important.If we cant giving our customers( actually , is passenger) a safety.......(wait, how to say zixin in english"....ergh.... sry,sir... give me a few sec."
"Is ok, Calm down...."
"Thx,sir"
(Squeezing my brain)
" We cant give our passeger wit safety confident, they wont fly wit our airline again"
"Good, Yan Xing. You may wait for ur result outside"
"Thx, sir"

After a few minutes, Mayble taking the shortlist and come out.
"Stephanie, u r in and u can go for the next round of English Paper"
Wat?! im in?
thx... GOD!

When walking to the A2 class, Joe keep on saying Why he cant in to me.
then although im An Wei-INg him, im really happy...
SRy ya, JOe.

My english paper quite ok, cz those obj quetion teacher had giving the clue.
bt, the essay~
i feel confident wit the essay tat i wrote.
the Question is:

"Do u made any mistake in ur life( or someone tat u noe)? how do u overcome ur mistake?"
wat i write is abt my dad he did the mistake in his life is he din continue wit his dream cz of realistic. How i overcome tis mistake is go ahead my dream to bcum a Cabin Crew. Add on, as Dato' Tony Fernandas(AirAsia Founder) said:" tat is a overwhelming experience if u done something tat ppl think u cant."

Im the first who pass up the paper.(cz finish d ma pass up lo, not a kind of showing off)
B4 packing my thing,
guess wat Ms Mulai said?
she said im SMART~!
HAPPY!

At night,
I received 1 msg from Mayble.

The msg is
" Hi, tis is Sass Altantic. U r been selected to the final round for tmr. Pls go to LCCT when 4pm............................................................"

WAH~
IM IN~!
Waiting for today's Final Interview~!
Pls...
let me pass it!


*First i write my blog in Eng Version, maybe cz affect by someone who is very important to me. Maybe HE is reading tis blog now. Wat i gonna tel him is, DUN LAUGH! i noe thr is LOTS of grammar mistake. So tats Y i need u to teach me ENGLISH lar, then v exchange i teach u Chinese. K? Haha.... thx for him cz he's always support me and tat y i success yesterday

故事说到这

昨天，我和PJ的朋友们最后一次的聚会了。
因为到十月尾杏奈就要回去老家巴生吃肉骨茶了~（笑）
很舍不得他们。。。
曾经一起疯狂的朋友，
要不是认识到你们，杏奈在PJ会闷死吧~！
约了好多人，包括了他。

和自己最爱的俪婷
不知道为什么其实她就是最了解我和他的好朋友。
她也是我们之间的桥梁。
昨天在聚会后，回到家也和俪婷说起了我们以前的往事。
她知道我的心情。
谢谢她听我诉说我一直以来不敢告诉人的心情。
她永远都是我最好的聆听者。

俪婷~我们要永远是好朋友哦~！
不要待杏奈去飞的时候，把杏奈给忘咯~！

其实在我们聚会的时候，我和他都不敢望着对方。
感觉很尴尬。。。
说好的以后的好朋友身份，也很难吧~？

我拜托俪婷把我们以前一起交换的日记本送给他。
那是我们最好的回忆相爱的证据。
我已完成我的承诺把它写完了。。。
以前，这本日记本是杏奈的护身符。
有它在身边，去到哪里都不怕。。。
如今把它送给了他，也是为我们曾经的故事写上最好的结局吧~！
故事说到这，我们也做了这个选择。
我们曾为对方做了很多事情，
现在连一个相望的眼神都尴尬着。
我也答应了，
下次见面的时候，我会带着微笑看着你。


之后，杏奈就会开始新的生活。
现在的我很快乐，
有新的工作和新的朋友们。
以前的我喜欢咖啡，那苦苦的味道却有着让人沉迷的香。
可是现在这杯咖啡就好像过了夜的滋味般，只剩下冰冷的苦涩味。
可能我喜欢的，只是那回忆曾经给我温暖的香甜咖啡吧~！



如果你问我，杏奈现在喜欢什么？
我现在开始接受巧克力。
巧克力是快乐的制造者。
他让我知道原来快乐是在我身边。
这块手中的巧克力，它知道我要低脂且没有保险期的。
所以它给的温暖就好像黄昏一样温暖，漂亮。

原来有时候人就是会在那一刹那而改变。
以前喜欢圆形的我开始发现到正方形的美好。
擅长水彩的我，突然觉得素描也很适合自己。